God Timing

Once again, I have been slapped in the face with the truth that God's timing might not match up with mine.

For months (about the end of January) I have been occasionally messing with how to play .wma files on my MacBook Pro.  I felt led to listen to missed sermons posted on my church's website via podcast.  So, every few days or so I would Google search it, try a different method/program, and give up after a half hour or so of failure.  I was beginning to think maybe I wasn't meant to hear them.

This week was incredibly hard for me.  I had to have my "nerve" medications increased because I've been feeling down, and having more panic attacks.  I was finally starting to feel good about this past week, and then...

Monday - It turns out my medical insurance doesn't think I'm making enough progress for Physical Therapy, so they have refused to pay, and I was "graduated" from PT.  I have had several breakdowns about how to continue progressing at home, and I know that I will have to keep trying different methods until I find a routine that works for me.

Tuesday - I had a consultation with an Oral Maxilla facial surgeon to have my wisdom teeth removed.  He refused to do it because of all of my medical problems.  Frustrated - I found out in January I needed them out, and now I can't find someone willing that will work with my needs.  *sigh*

Rest of the week - continued attempts at self rehabilitation at home.  There were tears and anxiety meds because I'm not sure about what I'm doing.

Here's the cool part.

Yesterday I finally found a free program to play those .wma files.  I listen to the first sermon I had missed, and it was like God was speaking to me with love from the week I had.

It was about hardships.  Everyone goes through them, and a lot of people have construed preconceptions about them.

The truth is: how we deal with hardships reveals how we really think about God.
Do we expect God to make everything go our way?  Job 2:10b "Shall we accept good from God, but not trouble?"
Hebrews 12:7a "Endure hardship as discipline."

So the question is: Do I allow spiritual hardship to cripple me? Or cultivate me?
My prayer is that everything I do answers "cultivate."

What about you?  When you have a bad week/day.moment are you going to let it tear you down and wonder why God is letting this happen, or are you going to get back up and ask God to cultivate you to be the person He created you to be?