I'm going to be honest with you - I don't know the answer to the questions I'm about to spell out.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from the #P31OBS #WalkInFaith Conference call Series is that it's okay to ask tough questions in which we don't know the answers. That's how we grow. One of my favorite quotes from Whitney Capps is that if you're not questioning and wrestling with God, you're not growing or really digging deep into His Word. (My paraphrase)
So I ask: Now that God has healed me, why do I still worry about issues and fears that seem microscopic in comparison to what He's done in the past?
Why does every bad day leave a nagging "I'm going backward" feeling in my mind?
And finally, Why does it get harder and harder to stay in this feeling of blessing and thankfulness as the days pass by?
I don't know. I do know that it seems to work this way for a lot of people. Is it our sinful nature? I think yes - at least partly,
Lately, I've been realizing I have an issue with pride. In the past, I would have never considered myself a prideful person; now, it feels like when I read a devotional or open my Bible I'm frequently met with scriptures and lessons about a prideful heart. I need to learn to be proud in a good sense - proud in God - but my selfishness says, "What about me? Didn't I do something too?"
I pray this verse every day so that it might train my heart to be less prideful in myself,
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
